How To Show Empathy

Empathy is the ability to share and understand the feeling of another person. I enjoy the company of good friends, especially those who know how to show empathy and bother to ask how one is doing. I am extremely put off by those who are attention seeking and put down others.

Here are four ways to show empathy :

1. Ask How You Can Help
Empathy is more than just understanding why a person feels a certain way. Empathy is also being able to help someone in whatever way you can.

In a situation when you may be considering how to develop empathy, you can try to put yourself in that person’s shoes or literally ask the persona what you can do to be of assistance.

2. Active Listening
Many people listen to respond in a conversation. They are not fully engaged with the person whom they are having a conversation with. They are either distracted by other matters or lost in their own thoughts.

Active listening requires asking questions and understanding more about a person’s insights and feelings in their circumstance. We can only notice what they are saying, their body language and facial expressions.

3. Be Open 
When we are able to be open and vulnerable, we are able to show our human side. Empathy is a two-way relationship. It is important to show empathy to the other person and it is equally important that they show empathy to you too.

When you are able to share personal experiences, this may allow others to relate to their current struggles. We build trust too with people when we show our vulnerable side. People are more open and we give them the confidence to speak freely.

4. A Different Perspective 
When you are able to see someone as a human being, you are able to see them beyond their appearance, job or actions. We recognise that they have a past that might include struggles and past hurts. When they make mistakes, we remind ourselves, we too make mistakes.

Most of the time we forget that the person we are speaking too is also facing his or her own challenges. When we remind ourselves to be kind to others, adopt a softer connect, we build a closer connection.

4 Ways to Slow Down

In a world filled with much noise and distractions, it can be stressful. At times we spend so much time and energy trying to keep up with daily issues that we hardly have time to sit down to relax. If you find yourself filling anxious or overwhelmed, here are 4 tips to slow down.

1.Take a walk

I enjoy starting the day taking a walk in the park. During this period, I will allocate time in the morning to exercise and be with nature. It is a relaxing feeling, just seeing people do tachi and teenagers playing football. Immersing oneself with the greenery is certainly very therapeutic.

2.Put away your phone

The phone has been my constant source of companion to stay in touch with my friends and staying in touch with news. However when I am in a rush to meet my datelines, I will put my phone away for the day to get things done. The least you could do is to put on silence mode so that there are fewer rings and beeps sounds vying for your attention.

3.Be with people you love

A great way to practice slowing down is to spend time with the people whom you love and being present when you are with them. This helps to remind me what matters most in life. They are my pillars of support. It is easier to step away from some of the busyness when we are focused on spending time with those we love.

4.Listen when talking to someone


When you are having a conversation with someone, try to give your conversation your undivided attention. Instead of responding, try to practice listening to understand. By finding moments of connection and truly listening to the person you are talking to, will enable you to slow down and be more present in your life.

Gratitude

This COVID period has certainly been a daunting period. Projects are either postponed or cancelled. Payments for completed projects are delayed. It is challenging time trying to get in new projects and at times it can be stressful.

One Day At A Time

For me, I just take things one day at a time. Daily I set goals to achieve for the day. This could be pitching to 20 companies each day or touching base with clients and friends. It could also be completing an existing work and adding value to the work that I do.

Being Thankful

There are challenging moments, worrying when is the next writing job, finances and our health. I learn to focus on gratitude. Just being thankful each day for the gift of life and sight, our daily meals, a place to stay and being with our loved ones is something I am truly grateful for. In my quiet moments, I pray and this has given me a sense of peace. Through prayers I find the strength to live each day to the fullest.

The Gift of Friendship

My friends have been my pillar of support in my journey. I cherish each friendship, some dating from school days. I am very blessed to know people through different stages of my life. It is amazing how we are still in touch. Each friend plays an instrumental role especially the closer ones who are there for me through the ups and downs of my life. They cherish me just the way I am.

Be Authentic

People are attracted to authenticity. We want to be around and associated with authentic people as they make us feel safe, respected and comfortable. Here are three techniques that can help you be your most authentic self. 

Be Present

It is easy to be distracted when you are having a conversation with someone. Your mind could be judging the person, thinking of a perfect response to impress someone or recalling the to do list for the day. Do not be surprised when some of us can intuitively sense another person’s focus and presence. Engage others by being more present in your conversations and relationships. Be an active listener, and give people your full attention.

Increase Your Self-Awareness

As we meet new people in various gatherings, engage in work meetings, and spend time with friends, take time to reflect on how that person you met made you feel. Who do you feel most comfortable with? Why are you irritated with that person? Take time to be still and reflect if someone can make you feel that way, how then do you make others feel?

Find Genuine Connections

We all have something in common as we are all humans. Seek to truly understand the people you meet. Be sensitive, ask thoughtful questions, and listen intently. By developing a sincere  understanding of ourselves and the people whom we are with, we are more likely to feel genuine and authentic ourselves.

5 Ways to Stay Resilient

It is said that some of us are have the ability to overcome setbacks with relative ease. This is a trait known as resilience which one can develop over time. People with resilience are more willing to take risks and have a greater sense of control over their lives.

Here are five ways to make yourself more resilient:

1.     Have a Sense of Purpose

Resilient people search for meaning. By developing a “personal why” this helps them have a clear sense of purpose. This allows them to view setback from a macro perspective. To develop resilience, we need to pay attention to our life experiences, listen to our emotions and be willing to celebrate our milestones and learn from our setbacks.

2.     Nurture Relationships 

Resilient people are able maintain strong and supportive relationships, both personal and professional. They usually have one or two people in their lives they can turn to.This pillar of support is instrumental to them through times of crisis.

3.     Master Your Emotions 

Resilient people are optimist. They usually have a positive outlook. They constantly remind themselves the challenges they face in life are temporary. They focus on what they can learn from the experiences.

4.    Take Action

Resilient people do not let themselves get paralyzed by negativity. They face their fears and have an adaptive attitude. Instead they work on solving the problems and think of ways to improve their situation.

5.     Keep Giving

Resilient people find a way to care for others even in the most challenging times. They find ways to support their friends for example publicising their business for them or inspiring the people around them. Sometimes being selfless is the best way to discover your own strength.

Be a Team Player

When you are working with a great team, every day can be an adventure. However with a bad team, you will be unhappy and not motivated. Here are five qualities of a team player:

1.Be Flexible

Outstanding team players are flexible to the situations that are thrown their way. They contribute to the team rather than sitting on the fence. They participate and tackle challenges without showing too many signs of pressure or stress.

2. Be a Problem-Solver

When your team leader is working on solving problems, be there to contribute to solutions and initiatives. Adopt a consultative style and be open to feedback. Your team members will appreciate your skills.

3.Be an Active Listener

A team player is one who respectfully consider the viewpoints and ideas of other people as well. It takes skills to be an active listener. When you hear someone saying something you do not initially agree with, try to refrain from interrupting and do not let your mind prepare any counter remarks. Just listen attentively and pay attention to what they are saying.

4.Be Honest

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but when people try to shift the blame and finger point at one another, this is where the team may disintegrate. It may be challenging to handle bad news. However the sooner you embrace the truth as a team, the faster you can innovate and come to a solution. By being honest, you can deliver constructive criticisms tactfully without hurting anyone’s feelings.

5.Stay Positive

Adopt a mindset to stay positive. Positivity is not about how talkative and constantly putting on a smile. It is possible to remain positive in a low-key manner and still have a wonderful impact on your teammates. When you are conscious about staying positive, you will see failure as feedback rather than a disaster. Staying positive means finding a solution to a problem rather than passing the blame and dwelling on things you are unable to control.

Tips To Stay Efficient While Working From Home

As a writer, work is usually done with my laptop and my handphone. I usually communicate with my clients via email or WhatsApp. Home is usually the place I write in silence. During this Covid-19 Circuit Breaker period when most of us have to work from home, here are some tips to stay efficient while working from home. 

1.     Set Up A Daily Goal List

Before you start the day, draw up a list of things you hope to achieve for the day. Prioritise the items in terms of urgency. Tick off the items that you have achieved at the end of the day.

2.     Be Disciplined

Start the day at the time you would start your day at work. Be dressed in comfortable attire but not in your pyjamas. In a way you are reminding yourself you are at work. Stay away from social media or snacks that would distract you from your work.

3.     Balanced Meals

Have a good breakfast. Stay hydrated and walk around every hour to stretch or get a drink. When it is lunch time, please grab a bite and go for lunch. Food gives us the energy. Some of us are able to cook in and have lunch within that hour. The rest of us may do a takeaway at coffeeshop/ hawker centre or call in delivery services. End the day with dinner with your family and some ‘me’ time.

4.     Work and Play

We are usually focused at work, at times clarifying issues with clients or even working with demanding clients. It can be exhausting. Set aside the end time for work at the end of the day. After working for the day, take time to relax by reading a book, watching the television or doing something you enjoy.

5.     A Circle of Friends

I am thankful for circle of friends who have been my pillar of support. It can be boring at times as a writer as all we do is to write. I have friends who at times will check on me, engage me with discussions or keep me in prayers. There are others I will catch up with them over a meal.